I have just always wanted kids. Obviously it happens, but perhaps no more than it happens with bio children. :(, How’d you connect with your culture more in a way that didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward? In a way you made yourself the third party. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} It's understandable why she regrets it, but she should remember that she did the right thing. He never sees them as they are - just as he wishes them to be. I have a better relationship with my parents than my wife does with hers, though, and she's not adopted. You're really asking a parenting question, not an adoption question. Most that I know chose to adopt a second or third time, so that must tell you something. Hi, all. There seems to be a lot of romanticizing for the birth parents here, when for one reason or another they had very little to do with the hard work of raising the adoptees. Those that are happy probably don't post here. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.de628c13230c59091a5d.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} Thanks for the heartfelt sharing. I wish there was a good way to know how many adoptees are actually happy with their adoptions, and how many had no pain at all. Maybe I … It examines not just what kinds of experiences adoptees may or may not have, but also why people share what they share, what the intentions might be in sharing (complaining, defending, educating, trying to prevent future pain for future adoptees, trying to reassure different members of the triad, a whole myriad of reasons for why people may share what they do). All of us have good relationships with our parents. It means so much when we have the opportunity to hold space with one another and learn from one another. This sub has virtually never been hostile to me for my positive experience, even before I was a moderator. We welcome anyone from any aspect of an adoption to comment and contribute, but a community for adoptees is our goal. I also know a few people my age who are adopted (30-40). Regardless of the numbers, I really appreciate that we have a sub where every adoptive experience is welcomed. I haven’t been able to calm down since bringing her home and I fear I’ve made a huge mistake. I think the third party contact thing is being mentioned, because you chose another route, and mention you regret it. For us, being parents (to a child who happens to be adopted) is hard but OH MY GOD is it the most wonderful feeling in the world, seeing her develop, seeing her tiny magical personality blossom into such a unique individual. He was a cat with lots of opinions, who knew how to irritate his humans. Oof! I know every situation can be different, but how do you feel your experience could have been different? Doesn’t cry, uses the litter box, cuddles and sleeps with me, an all around great cat. I grew up in the same situation as you and I’m having really tough times with my identity because of the culture I was raised in. 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